Adultery: The unfaithfulness of a married person to the marriage bed; sexual intercourse by a married man with another than his wife, or voluntary sexual intercourse by a married woman with another than her husband.
Note: It is adultery on the part of the married wrongdoer. The word has also been used to characterize the act of an unmarried participator, the other being married. In the United States the definition varies with the local statutes. Unlawful intercourse between two married persons is sometimes called double adultery; between a married and an unmarried person, single adultery.
The commandment: Exodus 20:14, “You shall not commit adultery”.
Can we obey? Yes! Would a good and caring father require of his son something he could not do with dire consequences if he didn’t? No.
Why are we wired like we are? Not to cause us to struggle with this sin, but for other reasons. Maybe to ensure the continuance of the species. What if there was no tendency towards the other gender? Would we simply reason that having kids would be a necessary and a right thing to do, and then do it? Would it be kind of like donating blood? Would the earth have ever been populated?
The intent of the heart: Matthew 5:27-28,
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Could this be, not the lustful thought, but “looking to lust” – as with looking at porn?
When is lust sin? James 1:14-15,
“But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.”
We are all tempted – each one, every person.
Two things are necessary for a temptation:
1) your wrong desire,
2) an enticement.
Conceived – formed or developed in the mind; decided upon.
Death – separation from God – as in Romans 6:23. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Looking, for the purpose of lusting, is committing adultery in your heart.
When you have decided to commit adultery you are guilty of adultery.